Pet Piggy

I’m allergic to dogs, which is a real bummer because I have two in my family: Phoebe and Louie. But I never can touch them and if I do, I get super itchy. And they’re both hypoallergenic dogs, so there’s really nothing I can do about still being allergic to them. So, I came up with the solution of getting a pet pig when I’m older. One of those cute little mini pigs that are pink and adorable!

Image result for pygmy pigs

So I decided to do some research on them… And, they are a lot of maintenance. And I’d need quite a bit of space to keep them happy. And they actually aren’t that small. They can grow up to 100-200 pounds. (My dogs now only weigh 6 and 8 pounds haha)

I used to have an 80 pound dog, her name was Nellie, and she was literally the sweetest dog ever. But people were always scared of her because she was a pitbull.  So, it’s not that I’m afraid of the size of these piggies, it’s just that I don’t think I’m going to have enough space to care for one.

Maybe I’ll consider a pet pygmy goat… Those seem really cute and fun to have too. But then again it’s a goat who might eat all my stuff. Actually I don’t know that might be a myth.

Image result for pygmy goat

I’ll come up with something eventually, because I love having pets. My dogs are always happy to see me when I get home from school. And Phoebe is always ready to come sleep with me on my bed (even though she’s not supposed to). I love my dogs and it really sucks being allergic to them, but I would never give them up for anything in the world.

Thanks for reading!

xoxo -River

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2 years!!

WordPress just sent me a notification saying that I’ve had my blog for two years now! Time really flies because I don’t even remember where the two years went. I’ve only made about 30 posts on my blog, which definitely isn’t a lot. So maybe this year, I’ll bump up that number. I don’t want to make this a whole serious post about how much things have changed over the last two years. But, I just wanted to write a post to remind myself if I ever look back. Thanks to everyone who ever liked a post or commented because those notifications really make my day (more like the entire week). You guys are all fantastic, and I’m so grateful that I can write what I’m feeling and there’s always someone there to read my thoughts (more like ramblings). Thanks for an amazing two years of blogging! ❤

xoxo -River

p.s. If @TheOnewithBooks still blogs or reads any of my posts, I just wanted to thank her for introducing me to blogging and helping me to get all of this started. She’s the sweetest, and I haven’t seen her in sooo long. I miss her with all my heart. Definitely go check out her blog.

A Huggable Person

Sometimes, I think I might be too nice. Being nice has always been a good thing for me though. The thing that I’m known for among my peers. “Oh there’s River! She’s so nice!” (At least I think they say that)

My parents ask me to do something, I’ll do it. No complaints. I might not actually want to do it, but I’ll do it anyways because I like being “good.”

For my friends, I’m always the first one there to listen, to give advice, and to offer a good heartwarming hug. Once, a friend called me a huggable person! 1.) because I’m on the shorter side. 2.) Because I’m so nice. I guess that’s valid?

And, my jokes aren’t the sarcastic or biting kind that are sometimes considered mean. They’re the corny ones that make people laugh just because I’m laughing at my own joke. I think have one of those contagious laughs? I’m not sure because this kid at school once told me I have an adult laugh. I think it was supposed to be a compliment, but I actually don’t really know what he meant by that… Anyways yeah… I think I’m too nice sometimes.

People never take me serious until I explode, or until I’m sassy with them. Then they tell me that I’m “too sensitive” but what do they expect when they don’t listen to me! For example, since August we’ve needed a new printer. And my dad hasn’t bought one. I need this printer for school almost every other day. So, every time I need to print something out, my dad has had to shake the cartridge thing to get the ink working. He has been doing this since school started. After months of asking and asking him to get a new printer, I finally exploded and yelled and threw a whole tantrum. I have to say, at some points I was extra dramatic on purpose to get my point across, but he sure heard me this time. And guess what, two days later we had a new printer.

It shouldn’t be necessary for me to throw a tantrum when I want something to happen. I just turned sixteen, and now I can get my driver’s permit. You think my dad would sign me up for a driving school after I’ve been begging him for a few months now. NO. I even offered to pay for it myself. And still no. Until I kick and scream like I did with the printer, I might never get my permit before I go to college.

Sorry you guys had to hear this entire rant. I just needed some place to vent this all out. I’ve been journaling more lately too, but I really wanted to get a post out this weekend so I decided just to write about what I was thinking. I have no school tomorrow so that pretty awesome. Lol that’s why I don’t mind staying up a little bit later to write this post because tomorrow morning, I’ll be sleeping in. OH YEAH. Thanks for reading 🙂

xoxo -River

Positive Vibes Only Please

I’ve been taking a Coloring class at school for the past two marking periods. And it’s not a class where they teach you to color. It’s a class where I spend one hour coloring, once a week. And it’s great! 

But sadly, the 2nd marking period is coming to an end and my coloring class is too. I picked that class because I already knew that I was going to be stressed with my other classes that were mandatory to take so why would I stress myself out more by picking out another stressful class. I really did it right this year. People were picking classes like, Plasma Physics and Math Help (which I totally understand picking this one, especially if you need help with math). But still, I didn’t want another hour of school work when I could have picked coloring.

So out of the two semesters I only finished two templates: a fox and a Day of the Dead portrait. I also started one of a bunch of mushrooms, a hamsa, a spiral tessalation and a camp fire. All were coming out really nicely but some days I had to sacrifice my coloring hour to homework.

Recently, I’ve been trying to find ways of de-stressing. I’ve been writing in my journal more, I got an essential oil diffuser for Christmas (which I absolutely LOVE), I’ve been trying to be more optimistic, and leave negative energies behind me. I’ve also been playing more music, reading, crocheting, dancing and spending more time with my family. Hopefully this continues as the new year progresses, but it’s really all up to me.

Tonight I have my dance class, which is really fun. And I convinced my parents to sign me up when the school year started because during the summer I watched so many dance movies and it inspired to start dancing again. I’ve always loved to dance. I might not be so good, but I have fun doing it anyways. Sometimes I wished my school had more dance parties so that I didn’t always have to dance in front of my mirror. hahaha! Time to go because I need to finish my homework! have a lovely night ❤

xoxo -River

Sad Circumstances

I just realized that I’ve had the same crush for three years. That’s just sad. It’s not like he’s been consuming every minute of my life or that I haven’t had any other crushes. It’s just that it’s been three years and every time he talks to me or looks at me, I melt on the inside.

It’s never going to happen though… for several reasons:

  1. He’s with the “popular” crowd, while I am most definitely Not.
  2. He has a girlfriend (which I never knew about until last year, but then again, I am totally clueless about what actually happens at our school).
  3. He doesn’t even know me. (Hahaahaa I wonder why….. BECAUSE I NEVER TALK TO HIM, THAT’S WHY!).
  4. ETC…..

He’s extremely smart but he doesn’t brag about it. He has a really great sense of humor. It’s probably not really that great, but I just laugh at every joke he makes. Which could be a little weird, but no one actually is listening. He plays the drums and has a good taste in music. He’s also on the football team.

At the beginning of the year, we have to do a fitness exam which involves doing as many push-ups as we could. I secretly was working out and lifting weights at home the whole summer, so no one saw it coming when I starting hitting more than 25 push-ups. At around 30, it was only me and him going together. He couldn’t believe it! ME! hahaha. We kept going, at around 5o I stopped because I wanted to give myself space for improvement for the end of the year test in May. But he was staring at me the entire time and everyone was cheering me on. It was such a great moment. Now, I have started my push-up training again. And this time, I’m gonna crush him. MWHAHA but that’s another thing I love, he wasn’t just going to let me win. I’m gonna have to earn my push-up champion title the hard way. ahhhhh i’m actually so excited to see his face. ME beating the FOOTBALL player! It’ll be legendary. Oh and my gym teacher is the football coach!!

And on Halloween I GAVE HIM MY KITKAT! now that’s love.

So my obsession might be a little out of hand, especially since I can remember all this stuff. I can’t even remember what I wore yesterday, let alone four months. ago. But it’s sad, because he’s never going to know I like him, or know that I appreciate his jokes, or remember any of these tiny encounters from the past three years that I, of course, will.

Can’t wait to beat his ass in May though!

xoxo -River

Back?

I guess I’m back, at least for a little while. I totally forgot about my blog and as I was thinking about stuff to do to procrastinate, it came between writing a blog post or crocheting a scarf. Blogging won just because I was already at my computer and my yarn was not in arms length distance. A lot has happen since my last post:

First, I’m a junior now. Time really flies. I still remember when I was a freshman. It feels like such a long time ago but at the same time, it feels like it was yesterday. Freshman year was the year of hating school. I was so lost, confused, and I had no friends close friends. It was the worst year and it’s the cause of all my problems. Junior year, so far, is great! I finally found my groove, I talk to so many people, and while school is stressful, I’m managing alright. But unfortunately, this school year is already half way through. Next year, I’ll be trying to get into college and keep up my grades. It’s going to be rough, but one step at a time.

Second, I’m finally sixteen! My birthday passed a while ago but it’s still exciting because now I can get my driver’s permit. But my parents aren’t going to let me so I’ll have to wait until I’m seventeen! Yay… note the sarcasm. It’s not really a big deal though, because all my friends are older than me, so they’ll be driving a lot sooner and I’ll hang out with them. (Probably not really going to happen). But you know in those movies where the main character turns 16, I feel like their characters are so much older than 16. I still feel like such a little kid sometimes.

Third, I broke up with my best friend. It was really tragic. I feel like I’m still processing what happen even though it’s been two weeks. I didn’t even have time to cry over it, because when I got home, my family swept me away onto a family road trip to Florida for the entire holiday break. Now I’m back at school, and we don’t even talk to or look at each other. I’m honestly fine, because I’m the one who wanted to end our friendship. But I’m worried about her. I hope she’s alright.

Other things that are the same include: being single, broke, and no job. Hopefully those’ll change with the new year. Happy day!

xoxo-River

 

Impulses

Impulses. You can’t explain them. All of a sudden you find yourself doing something that you wouldn’t normally do or you do so often you don’t even realize it anymore.

Impulses. I find myself surrendering to my own impulses constantly. I don’t even know how it happens. Of course afterwords, I realize what I’ve done. But I can’t seem to stop. I can’t stop the impulse before it happens. I can control it once I realize what I’ve done and I can stop it from happening again. But beforehand… I rarely can stop myself.

Impulses. They somehow find a way to control my actions. I pray every night that maybe the next day will somehow be better. So that I can somehow control them with ease. Or push them aside; distract myself with something else, anything else. Every day I battle against the impulse.

The impulses don’t seem to attack me when I’m with other people. They don’t even dare trying to fight me. But as soon as I’m alone or at home, they try to creep up on me. Who do they think they are. They’re so tiny, I know I can beat them. Fight them until they give up. I’ve been fighting them for a year and a half now. I’ll keep fighting until they’re defeated. I know the end is near. I’ve been feeling it for a while now. Soon the impulses will no longer be in control.

xoxo -River

Instant Oatmeal

I would definitely consider myself as one of those Pinterest moms. Every day I scroll through hundreds of pins, sometimes stopping to like or even possibly pin one of them. And you know those jokes where they make fun of the pinterest fails because you thought that you could do that hairstyle but instead you ended up looking like Chewbacca. Well I didn’t try doing a hairstyle. I don’t have enough skill or confidence to actually try one of those things.

But I did try making one of those oatmeal in a jar things. And it worked out well. It was not a complete fail. I just put the oats and all that other good stuff into the jar and mixed it around. In the morning, I spinned it around some more and put it in the microwave. I wasn’t too fond of the whole cold oatmeal idea. I added some grapes, strawberries and blueberries. My instant oatmeal breakfast was done.

It was definitely not the same as a regular-old-fashioned-stove-top-oatmeal, but I have no regrets. I would definitely do it again.

And now you might be questioning why I decided to start off a post with a quick story about oatmeal. It’s because I’m procrastinating. I still haven’t texted James. I’ve made the draft for that text about a bazillion times and then lingered my finger over the send button only to back out. All the while, I scream internally and little beads of stress sweat form. It’s a whole process. I’ve asked my friends, my mom, and sister for advice. None of which really helped.

My mom says that I’m throwing myself out there and I need to be sure of what I want out of this relationship. My sister cringes at every draft I show her and then tells me I should just insert my cheesy smile. And my friend, Paprika, says that all my drafts are fine and that I need to take the risk because anything could happen and that I need to put myself out there. And meanwhile, I just keep thinking about it because what if I’m wrong. What if he just gets really confused by the fact that I’m randomly texting him. I don’t what I should do. I’m probably just going to keep procrastinating like I always do and hope that in the next week, I manage to get some guts and just hit that send button.

xoxo -River

Updates:

  1. The doctor visit went fine… I honestly don’t know why I was flipping out about it. I’ll probably just flip out again next summer. Oh well.
  2. I finished the eight episodes of Stranger Things. I definitely recommend it to anyone who likes sci-fi or just a good show.
  3.  I went to a sweet 16th party on Sunday which was very fun. My friend dedicated a candle to me and she is honestly so sweet and I love her so much. There was a lot of Indian food and Indian dancing which was a little confusing but overall fun. I didn’t know what to do on the dance floor so I just jumped around the whole time with my friends. Which kinda leads to my next point:
  4. So there’s this boy that I go to school with, we can call him James, and he was at the sweet 16 this Sunday. He’s very quiet and sweet. And he always says hi to me in the hallways and we were in the same writing club. I’m pretty sure he’s in artist too. When we were at the sweet, we didn’t talk too much but we danced in the same circles and I caught him looking at me a few times. I’m not sure whether he likes me or not. And, I’m not sure if I should text him (I went on this journey and got his number from a friend of a friend) because I’ve never actually had a full conversation with him. But he’s really cute and sweet so I’m very conflicted. I might just come off creepy and say “hi james, it’s river :)” No… oh gosh. I’ve been procrastinating this text for the past two days.  I guess I’ll text him tomorrow for sure. And I’ll let you guys know how it goes.

I guess that’s really all the updates I have for now but we’ll see what happens with James and if at least we can be friends.

xoxo-River

The Doctor? On Friday?

And no… I really wish I meant The Doctor from Doctor Who. I mean the Doctor and I get to see every year. The doctor who is gonna give me a big hug and then tell me to strip down to my underwear and socks. And then hand me this huge paper gown that’s just going to rip as I put it on. The doctor who is going to take me to the wall with the measuring thing to see how much I’ve grown. And take me a few more steps down the hall to the scale, where I’ll stand in front of my mom and sister as my doctor fiddles with the scale and seals my fate. She read my weight out loud and then walk me back into the room. And she’ll tell me how much weight I’ve gained in the past year.

Well guess what… I ALREADY KNOWWW! I DON’T NEED YOU TO TELL MY FAMILY THAT I’VE GAINED MORE THAN 15 POUNDS THIS YEAR!

I used to be skinny as a twig. Literally, I had no fat. It was all sharp lines and edges. I wasn’t even athletic, I’m still not. And in the past two years that I’ve been in high school, I think I have gained more that 20 lbs. It’s terrible. I’m not fat but imagine having a whole family that is super skinny and you’re the only one who’s not. My mom  even “advises” what foods I shouldn’t eat. Imagine being Hispanic and having to being limited from the rice. It’s a tragedy. And let’s not even add the fact that my entire Hispanic family just judges everything down to how i’m not as skinny as the rest of my family and that I’m probably not a size 0 anymore. Which I’m obviously not but who the heck needs to care about that.

Usually I don’t care about all of this, but this doctor’s visit is coming on Friday and I’m so anxious for it. I’ve been working out everyday for the past month (of course with the weekly rest days) and I’ve been avoiding the really sugary desserts and all the carbs. But I don’t want to become obsessive with all this either. So the occasional dessert is definitely allowed because I LOVE ICE CREAM SO DAMN MUCH. But let’s just hope that the doctor’s visit goes well because I don’t need any more of this negativity and anxiety in my life right now or ever for that matter. Good luck to me

-River